The Emotional Toolkit Monthly - The Joys of Complaining

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The Emotional Toolkit Monthly

Practical Strategies to Boost Your Happiness, Health & Longevity

May 2008

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In This Issue:

-- The Joys of Complaining

-- Tip of the Month

-- In the News

The Joys of Complaining

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Have you ever complained to others about your boss, your in-laws or the housing market? Who hasn't? As sympathetic heads nod and similar angst is shared, you feel warmly connected to your fellow complainers. You think, "Yes, they really understand me! I'm with people who get it!"

But beware: complaining is seductive. There is an underbelly to your kvetching. Regardless of the fuzzy feeling you get at the moment, complaining can actually make you feel worse. Sorry to complain, but it's true.

If your gripe session is limited to talking only about terrible things, it keeps you stuck in your bad feelings, and in some cases even magnifies them. So how can you get things off your chest wthout feeling rotten?

There is an art to complaining. If you know how to do it right, you'll get your bonding time and feel better all at once. Read below to find out how.

Tip of the Month

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How to Complain Like a Pro:

Step 1 - Let It Fly: This is the irresistible part of complaining. You get to say whatever you want about the horrible state of your life. Start with, "I just need to vent..." There's just one rule: limit your rant to 15 minutes or so.

Step 2 - Don't Get Stuck: Now that you've vented, it's time to look for solutions. If you don't, you'll stay stuck in your bad feelings. Ask for help answering these questions: "What can I do to make this situation better?" or "If there's nothing I can do, how can I accept the situation?"

Bonus - How To Keep Friends: Follow these rules, and you'll get the added bonus of better friendships. No one enjoys being around a chronic complainer. The key word is "chronic." We're all entitled to a good pity party, but if it becomes your signature style, friends may start to run when they see you. Invite them to help you with solutions, and you'll all win in the end.

In the News

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Darlene's Blog: Your Happiest Life

Check out Darlene's blog, "Your Happiest Life." The blog features articles, musings and links to live your happiest, healthiest life. http://yourhappiestlife.blogspot.com.

The Emotional Toolkit: The Book
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Based on her acclaimed UCLA course, Dr. Mininni shows you 7 strategies to boost your happiness, health and longevity.

"The skills in this book are just what this doctor ordered...!"
- Christiane Northrup, M.D., bestselling author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom

"Cutting-edge advice...that really works."
- Women's World

http://www.emotionaltoolkit.com/etk/s tore.shtml

About Dr. Darlene Mininni
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Dr. Darlene Mininni is the author of The Emotional Toolkit and creator of UCLA's acclaimed emotional education course. She has a PhD in Clinical Psychology and a Masters degree in Public Health. Through her keynotes, writing and one-day workshops, Dr. Mininni teaches people of all ages practical strategies to boost their happiness, health and longevity. Woman's World Magazine describes her emotional toolkit as "Cutting-edge advice...that really works." She's appeared on CNN, NPR and PBS and been quoted in SELF, COSMO, Woman's Day, Marie Claire, Ladies Home Journal and Prevention.

Darlene Mininni, Ph.D., M.P.H.

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email: dmininni@emotionaltoolkit.com

web: http://www.emotionaltoolkit.com

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