Emotional Toolkit Monthly - Are You The Perfect Woman?

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The Emotional Toolkit Monthly

The Emotional Education You Never Had

July 2006

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In This Issue:

-- Are You The Perfect Woman?

-- Tip of the Month

-- In the News

Are You The Perfect Woman?

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You probably like the idea of being a wonderful employee, friend, wife, or mother. Who wouldn’t? Maybe you even hope to be perfect at it. But before you push yourself any harder, consider this: Your quest for perfection may be making you miserable. Did you know that people who seek perfection are more likely to be depressed or anxious than their less- striving friends? And surprisingly, perfectionists are less productive than their more laid back pals. So before you unleash your inner Bree Van De Camp, take this quiz:

Is your desire for perfection hurting you?

Do my accomplishments feel like they’re never quite good enough?
Do I put off doing important things until I know I can get them right?
Do I put myself down when I don’t look or perform flawlessly?
Do I fear failing?

If you answered YES to one or more of these questions, your focus on unattainable standards may be making you miserable. As Maria Shriver said, “Perfectionism doesn’t make you perfect. It makes you feel inadequate.” If you want to boost your happiness, you need to get rid of the illusion that perfect is better.

Tip of the Month

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To focus on being successful rather than perfect, try these strategies:

Make a list of what you do right each day instead of pondering your mistakes.

Stop comparing yourself to others. You’ll always find ways to come up short.

Learn to soothe yourself – such as taking a walk or talking with a friend – to calm the anxiety that often fuels perfectionism.

Be realistic about your goals. Striving to be a perfect mother or perfect boss is a set-up for failure - - you’re either perfect or you’re a failure.

When critical thoughts arise, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that will happen if I’m not perfect?”

In the News

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Save the Date - Saturday, November 11 for The Emotional Toolkit One- Day Workshop! Conducted at a secluded retreat center in Malibu, Calif., this exciting and intensive program will guide you to learn how to boost your happiness and create an emotional toolkit of your very own. We’ll send the details on the debut of this program as soon as they’re available.

Announcements
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Want to give meditation a try? Let Dr. Mininni teach you how on her audio CD, "Meditation to Change Your Moods." It’s available only at the Emotional Toolkit Online Store. Click here to listen to an excerpt.

Visit our website, www.emotionaltoolkit.com for more information on the Emotional Toolkit.

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Darlene Mininni, Ph.D., M.P.H.

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email: dmininni@emotionaltoolkit.com

web: http://www.emotionaltoolkit.com

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