Emotional Toolkit Monthly - Ever Been Jealous?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Emotional Toolkit Monthly

The Emotional Education You Never Had

May 2006

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In This Issue:

-- Ever Felt Jealous of Someone?

-- Tip of the Month

-- In the News

Ever Felt Jealous of Someone?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever thought, “I wish I had her life?” Or her career or even her husband? We’ve all had those thoughts at one time or another. It’s no big deal, but people often think of envy as a “bad feeling.” Is it really?

All feelings have a purpose – to give you important messages about yourself. Jealousy is no exception. Once you uncover its hidden message, you can take steps to feel better. Here’s what your envy may be trying to tell you:

You’re afraid: Your friend just landed a wonderful job. You’re afraid, as you schlep off to your crumby office, that you’ll be stuck there forever.

You’ve lost something: You had a dream to be a great piano player. When you see your friend get accolades for her keyboard prowess, you realize you’ll never be as good as her. Your dream is lost.

Your sense of fairness is attacked: To maintain your weight, you’ve got to diet, and exercise and diet some more. Your friend eats Snickers Bars and is a size 2. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s not fair.

Tip of the Month

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you’re jealous of someone, ask yourself these questions to find its hidden message:

1. “What am I afraid of?” Maybe you’re afraid you’ll never get a great job or find your soul-mate. But how do you know that for sure? What can you do today to boost the odds in your favor?

2. “What have I lost?” Maybe you’ve lost your dream to be a great piano player. But is your dream really gone forever? Could it be adjusted? Can you play for the sheer joy of it without having to be the best?

3. “Has my sense of fairness been attacked?” Do you feel like the lessons you were taught in life (“be nice, work hard”) aren’t yielding the fruits you thought they would? Maybe the lessons were wrong. Life isn’t always fair.

In the News

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click here to see an excerpt of Dr. Mininni's appearance on Barry Kibrick’s PBS show, “Between the Lines”. To view, you need Quicktime installed on your computer. (Get it for free here.)

Announcements
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

Make This Mother’s Day A Special One. In 2005, the American Cancer Society honored Dana Reeve as “Mother of the Year” for her devotion to her son Will and stepchildren Matthew and Alexandra, as well as for her dedication to improving her community. To honor Dana and mothers everywhere, when you order an autographed hardcopy of The Emotional Toolkit for your mom (or mom-like friend) during the months of April, May or June, 10% of all proceeds will go to The American Cancer Society in honor of Dana Reeve. For more information on the American Cancer Society, visit www.cancer.org. To order a book (with complimentary bookmark, pencil and pink tissue wrapping), go to the Emotional Toolkit Online Store.

Visit our website, www.emotionaltoolkit.com for more information on the Emotional Toolkit.

If you’d like to sponsor an Emotional Toolkit Seminar and are in the Los Angeles area, click here.

Do you plan to change your email address soon? Don’t forget to let us know so you’ll keep getting the Emotional Toolkit Monthly.

* If you do not wish to receive this newsletter, simply reply with the words “Unsubscribe” in the subject heading.

* If you know someone who would like to subscribe to The Emotional Toolkit Monthly, have them sign up at www.emotionaltoolkit.com.

Darlene Mininni, Ph.D., M.P.H.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

email: dmininni@emotionaltoolkit.com

web: http://www.emotionaltoolkit.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~