The Emotional Toolkit Monthly

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The Emotional Education You Never Had

February 2006

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In This Issue:

-- Love Is In the Air!

-- Tip of the Month

-- In the News

Love Is In the Air!

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Dear Friends,

Cupid may help people fall in love, but the cherubic one fails miserably when it comes to helping couples stay in love. That’s because how much you love someone, surprisingly, has little to do with how long your relationship lasts. Although it’s not very romantic, one secret to a happy, forever union is how well you deal with your conflicts. Cinderella, are you listening?

Did you know that researchers can predict if a couple will divorce (with a scary 91% accuracy) by watching them talk about their differences for just five minutes? In divorce-bound partners, a woman usually brings up an upsetting topic by criticizing her husband, saying things like, “You never do anything around the house.” The soon-to-be-single husband usually responds by getting negative and blaming his wife with comments like, “Are you crazy? You don’t appreciate all that I do!”

Tip of the Month

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To keep your love strong (and lasting), I recommend these emotional tools:

1. TELLING ABOUT THE PROBLEM: When you’re upset with your partner, begin the conversation gently. Instead of attacking him or her, start by explaining how you feel like, “I’m overwhelmed by everything I have to do, and I need your help in the house.”

2. LISTENING TO THE PROBLEM: When your mate tells you what’s wrong, don’t attack (although you’ll probably want to). Instead, ask your partner to be specific about what he or she wants like, “What do you need me to do?” If you’re too mad to be respectful, take time to calm down — go for a walk, watch TV, go to bed — before talking again.

In the News

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The Emotional Toolkit has just been released in paperback. It’s available at bookstores everywhere or at the Emotional Toolkit Online Store.
For our British friends, The Emotional Toolkit is now available in England. Order it here.

Announcements
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Visit our website, www.emotionaltoolkit.com for more information on emotional health.

If you’d like to sponsor an Emotional Toolkit Seminar and are in the Los Angeles area, click here.

Darlene Mininni, Ph.D., M.P.H.

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email: dmininni@emotionaltoolkit.com

web: http://www.emotionaltoolkit.com

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